Hello Nancy Drew Research Institute, lovers of. We have been a bit under the weather here this week in Happy Valley. Actually, as sick as sick dogs might be a more nuanced telling of the hell we have endured in the laboratory for the past five says. Literally beholding the porcelain with shaking limbs while we held the research notes in our otherwise unencumbered laps. Sweating buckets and unsure whether the source was the grippe or the impending appearance of the phantom horse that so spooks Mrs. Thurmond, the apple pie cooking cook at Shadow Ranch. The Board of Directors was amazed that the House of Nancy was so completely overtaken by this plague, all researchers with all their spines atingling, that they are holding an emergency meeting come the morrow to decide whether the research and subsequent note taking on The Secret of Shadow Ranch can pass muster for their paying, and hence, discerning clients. Was a day missed in a vomitous frenzy? Did Nancy’s change of clothes after a hard ride on her steed get missed because of an ill-timed hallucination? The Board will review the notes, make some decisions, maybe fire some people. Frankly, we are too weak to give a shit right now.
wasn’t there a cowboy called Chet in the Secert of Shadow Ranch?
Dear Bess Marvin: First off, is this the Bess Marvin who was one of the original co-founders of the NDRI, who took the research notes, the books (all 56 of them) AND THE MONEY and flew off with MIchael Jackson to Ibiza in the spring of 2005, started snorting cocaine off the asses of disgruntled priests and ended up in rehab (in Cincinnati of all places) only to discover that her real mother was in the bed next to hers? Are we talking the same person here? If so.. well well well… look what the cat dragged in. Is THE MONEY gone, Bess? Is THE COKE gone? I know MICHAEL JACKSON is. There are some people here who really want to talk to you, Bess. Call us. You know the number.