So the book deal came. No joking. The work of the Nancy Drew Research Institute (NDRI) will be anthologized in a textbook bound for university and college students of literature here in Happy Valley, Canada, USA. The contract has been signed, the deal is done. We will give out details of the publication when we are legally able to do so. We are quite excited and buoyed by the interest of the publishers. Considering the hours and weeks of persistence in our research initiatives – under extreme duress – we feel somewhat vindicated and we are now in the position of biting our thumbs at the researchers who left our Institute and joined the Dana Girls Research Institute (DGRI). Although they left the NDRI because of the bad numbers situation (BNS), their vitriol has turned against Nancy herself – laughing at the convergences, smirking at her use/abuse of trusty Ned, and even going so far as to make lurid insinuations about her relationship with her father. We found this out in the usual way – a snake in the grass told a little bird sort of thing…
We here at the NDRI are not happy in the receiving of these murmurings. Believe you me (believe you me), DGRI, we will not fail in our protection of Nancy’s good name, in her right to convergence, her jackboot treatment of the man who adores her and her unusually close and admiring relationship to her sole surviving parent. Happy Mother’s Day Dana Girls. You fuckers.
I love the stats, especially the comparisons of the good people and the bad people. Said the thin lipped swarthy man who has a scar running across the bottom of his chin.
Dear Mr. Hardy;
May I dispense with the formalities, Frank? How is your brother? He of the fine, fly-away hair, prominent adam’s apple and lithe girlish form. We here at the NDRI would like to thank you for your kind comments. But surely to god the stats about the abandoned cabin are of infinitely more interest. I mean, it’s not rocket science to discern who is good and who is bad on this planet of ours. Seriously. The writers of Nancy, those who have basically shadowed her for the last seventy years of her 18th year, have laid it out in black and white – people who look bad are bad. Whereas the abandoned cabin is so nuanced. The subtleties of whether it is electrified or not, recently or not so recently left derelict, smoke from the chimney or lack thereof, its proximity to vicinities of nefariousness. It’s not as cut and dry as human will, human suffering, morality, a desire for freedom from oppression, etc… Might I suggest that you take a look around you tomorrow on your daily rounds, Frank. Use the insight that you have gained from Nancy (and if not Nancy herself, from the stats about Nancy) and watch people – I mean, really watch people. Tail someone who looks bad and honest to god – you will find that Nancy’s world is far from fictive.