We are all fired up and trembly here at the Nancy Drew Research Institute (NDRI). We have come into a bit of a fortune. It went down like this. The head researcher’s strange Aunt Carrie, who has always taken an interest in the work of the Institute, has decided to donate the proceeds of her liver transplant to us. Kind Aunt Carrie has two livers. Yes. Google it right now disbelievers! Aunt Carrie has never wetted her lips on the burning liquid (owing to a Baptist upbringing), nor ingested any aspirin (owing to a pain-free life), leaving her liver pinky brown and full of all the lovely goo that makes a liver like hers the same value as that of a small child’s. The recipient of such purity is someone who made a lot of money making something shitty that people really wanted. The knowledge of such ill-gotten gains turned this person into an angry and way beyond alcoholic rich person who, as it turned out, wouldn’t stoop so low as to receive a liver from someone who barely had a chance to live. In the way the rich do, she gracefully sought out a solution. Aunt Carrie had some friends who had some friends sort of thing. Liver transplants here in Happy Valley, Canada, USA typically cost $350k, with the raw product (aka the liver) comprising most of the transaction. Hold your breath research lovers . We are being heaped full of money, coffers overflowing, sweeping piles of lucre (filthy), two hundred and fifty thousand dollars worth of doubloons, shekels, dripping diamond diadems, insatiable wealth of the sultans riches. We wish the bilious tycooness luck with the transplant. We want to let her know that the transplant has a better chance of success if she gets it done in India, but who are question the inscrutable chancy fates of fate. We are giddy with the expectation of pure and complete happiness. We are concerned that this might look like farming out the rest of the research to some other research institute. Perhaps in India.
Recent Comments