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Okay. Things have been monkey strange here for the last few weeks. We had an important fiscal deadline here at the Nancy Drew Research Institute (NDRI), namely the turning over of the books to a professional external auditing company. It turns out that the man who was caught by Dr. Nancy Monkey (see The Mystery of the Moss-Covered Mansion) was actually a bad man who was running some extracurricular scams involving the selling of bad debts and using inherited money from lonely spinsters to offset the losses that these bad depts incurred and ALL OF IT BEING DONE THROUGH THE NDRI BOOKS. The mysteries themselves (be they sacred still) are unscathed, but the complicated accounting systems created by this bad man and a friend of his who has a crinkly ear have sullied our reputation. The golden hind retirement funds might have been siphoned off into the bank account of the bad eared man’s bad minded compatriots in Cyprus. We have bitten our nails to the quick and will let you know if we are still in business. In the meantime, the stats. Dare we speak the truth? Oh, we dare all right. We double dog dare. The most boring Nancy Drew ever written. Good luck getting through these humdinger stats – no clothing details, no parties attended, no car problems, no boating incidents, barely any convergences, no season delineated, no abandoned shack and calling the cops only once. What the fuck???