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We are the lonely. The unloved.

We are the great unwashed who teem with the desire to roust and lead.

Our lives, held up to the glare and glisten of Miss Drew, are beyond the pale of pale.

We turn the glisten to catch you up in its shine.

What special counter have you for its luminance?

We have fallen to our leathered knees before Nancy many a time but she has now truly taken the cake and thrown the baby out of its dirty dirty water.

What person do you know who can, in the course of about one hour, make a higgledy-piggledy decision to travel someone far enough away to require a train and then phone seven other people (living in different parts of the country, no less) and have them not only be free to take the journey, but want to and then be ready to go in three hours?

Well, if anything, we are researchers here at the YE OLDE NANCY DREW RESEARCH INSTITUTE.  You might say that we know how to glean and discover. We set our newest researcher to work and here is what happened:

PURPOSE: To phone friends and ask them to accompany you to the Adirondacks almost immediately.

METHOD: Phone friends and ask them to accompany you to the Adirondacks almost immediately.

MATERIALS: Phone, friends.

OUTCOME:  Six friends did not pick up their phones. One friend had a full-time job and couldn’t get away until Spring Break, although she liked the sounds of it.

When the newest researcher brought back these pathetic findings we shook our heads in compassionate grief whilst scanning the countenance of the researcher for evidence of her less-than-ness. We realized that we knew nothing about her life beyond the walls of the YONDRI.  She might indeed be the sort of person whose relations with others are tepid. Perhaps one of the more senior and more connected researchers should repeat the experiment.

We none of us wanted to try.

It is better not to know.